Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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