Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
