she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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