can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
