The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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