Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
