with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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