Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
