Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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