so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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