It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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