It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
