weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
