I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
