Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize