Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
