If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
