I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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