She announced her abortion via fbk
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
