The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
