I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
