you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
