While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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