are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
