As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
