GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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