Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
