I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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