When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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