i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
