I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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