Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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