those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
