She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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