i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
