Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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