Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
