In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize