Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
