my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
