me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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