she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
