Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
