i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
