god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
