I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I will be naked everywhere
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
