WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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