You can't special order awesome
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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