If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
