I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
