I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
