I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Are my feet made of real feet?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
