If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
