You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
