Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
