Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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