no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
