If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
