Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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