How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
