Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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