it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i will never coherently bang her
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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