Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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