Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
