Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
