Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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